Maiden name? How about it’s just MY name.

If you’ve been coming here for a while, you’ll recall that I posted here about how I have no interest in changing my name if I ever get married (seemingly unlikely, right?).

But then I read this article and learned more about the history of women from being discouraged from keeping their own names. I was outraged.

NYT

What would be great, in my opinion, is if the NY Times and other publications who announce marriages stopped assuming anyone would change his or names. Mention it if they do as the exception.

[This article came out about a week ago. I sat on this post for a few days, trying to calm down about the subject and word this post in a way that doesn’t offend friends who have chosen to change their names.]

Were you aware of state laws like this? Does this information change how you feel about the issue?

Lows and highs

“I’m so sorry to disturb you,” I said to the woman next to me.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t sleeping, I was just dreaming,” she replied as I stood to slip past her on the Philadelphia-bound train to visit Dad in the hospital.

I smiled. Across the aisle*, her elderly husband was full-on asleep, arms crossed and head bowed. He was older than his wife who had taken the lead in finding seats and then in ensuring his comfort.

Looking at them as a couple, I thought of my mother, fit and strong and ten years younger than my father. Growing up, I never thought of their age difference as a big deal. Now, Dad’s age and health conditions are yielding a lot of heartache.

I’m trying not to equate love with pain and loss. But right now, it’s so very hard. Someday everyone I love will be gone. I too will leave this earth someday. And because I don’t have the crutch of believing in heaven, these feelings are a heavy burden.

Dad’s condition is stable now, but eight days into this hospital stay, we have no sense of when he might be ready to go home. No independence for Dad this July 4th.


Rehoboth

I usually spend Independence Day with a family group in Rehoboth Beach. This year, there was an issue with the house we stay at so even if Dad were healthy, we were not going to be able to spend the holiday there together as is our tradition. Continue reading

Magic Mike XXL, the unexpected feminist movie

Just like I did re: The Bachelorette – or rather didn’t do – I won’t recap Magic Mike XXL. Not because I didn’t enjoy it (I enjoyed it A LOT) but because other, better writers have already done so.

Via People Magazine

Here are a few highlights from their write-ups interspersed with pics and gifs from this totally Oscar-caliber* movie as well as one or two of my own thoughts.

If you’re concerned about spoilers – and you really shouldn’t be because the paper-thin plot is Not The Point – I guess stop reading. But you’d be missing stuff like this:

Continue reading

Sometimes a girl needs a cheap massage

Recently I have been under an unusually high level of stress. Obviously.

The morning after Arte Agave, I woke up not hungover, but sore.

#ArteAgave #tequila #mezcal #bowerycollective #skeleton #nyc

A photo posted by @nycgetsocial on

My guess is that after fifteen margaritas (I exaggerate) and tequila punches, I slept in an unmoving heap for eight plus hours. Ouch. My neck, my back, etc. Continue reading

We almost lost him. Someday we will.

For the first time, I understood.

Instead of thinking “Daddy, please don’t die. Don’t leave me,” I just wanted him not to suffer. The selfishness of a daughter evaporated.

The doctors had Dad sitting perfectly upright, a mask covering his entire face and forcing air into his lungs. He was sedated, given morphine for pain. When I spoke to him and stroked his hand, Dad  opened his eyes and tried to reassure me.

“Rest, Dad. You need to rest. Don’t worry about me.”

And then I went out into the hospital corridor, nearly biting through my bottom lip as I tried to stifle my sobs.

With Dad during carefree times

With Dad during carefree times

Continue reading

How was your weekend?

Mine was interesting. I didn’t leave Brooklyn at all. Didn’t even leave Williamsburg!

In the best news of all, Dad was released from the hospital. And on Father’s Day!

I tried two new restaurants. On Friday, Katie and I went to Le Fond in Greenpoint. Just lovely. We drank this amazing rosé.

Rose

Continue reading

I can’t stop thinking about her

Sorry, I totally click-baited you. This post is about a cat. I’ll bet you thought was about everybody’s current lady crush, Ruby Rose of Orange is the New Black.

Via OITNB/Netflix

Via OITNB/Netflix

Maybe another day. Continue reading