It was late at night and I was lying in the black lacquer bed I picked out when I was twelve or thirteen. I didn’t open Tinder looking for love. Nay, I figured that Tinderers of Scranton would provide fine fodder for Why Did You Put That on Tinder??
If I ever found myself pregnant (and a dude were actually involved), I’d make it oh-so-clear from the point of conception that those words are never to be uttered around me or even about me.
P.S. I hope this cake was a joke.
When I was a kid, I desperately wanted a dog. My mother’s mother Nana lived with us though. Well, technically we lived with her but that’s another story.
Dad loved dogs, still does, and supported my interest in having one, but Nana either hated dogs or was afraid of them. Mom told me the latter.
“One day when Nana no longer lives with us, Daddy and I will get you a puppy.”
She didn’t wink or elbow me in the ribs while saying it, but the message was clear: when Nana died, I’d get my dog. Even though I was only five or six at the time, wanting a puppy became inextricably linked with a guilty feeling: “you want Nana to DIE!” I tried hard not to think about puppies. Continue reading
I can’t be the only one who hates this Quilted Northern ad.
I hated on Charmin’s ‘Sit or Squat’ promo equally hard here.
Is anyone influenced by advertising for a commodity like toilet paper? When I go to the store, I buy the best priced, soft, unscented product I can find. Unless something truly innovative comes along, I’m sticking with that approach and don’t want to ‘talk about what goes on in the bathroom.’
P.S. in searching for the gross Quilted Northern ad, I realized that not only does Northern have its own YouTube channel, but it also has videos for toilet paper crafts. Who thought this was a good idea? Raise your hand so I can forever shun you.
Do we ever want to see tongue in an ad? No. Never.