The amazing HBO show Girls, created by and starring Lena Dunham, has stirred up so many memories of my own awkwardness. Particularly in the areas of dating and sex.
Not, of course, that awkward moments reside solely in my past. No. They happen all too often.
Paging Liz Lemon.
I’m going to tell you a story. I’m also going to hope that no one from my family reads this blog – ever.
This thing happened when I was eighteen or nineteen, home on break from college. I think it was summertime. I had a pretty casual on-again situation going with a guy I had dated in high school. Let’s call him Joe.
Although I was not a virgin by this point, I refused to give it up to Joe. Our hometown was so very small and gossipy. Plus, we were too on and off for sex from my perspective. Joe was neither a good guy nor a bad guy, but his reputation was as a “player.” Looking back, though, I do think Joe genuinely liked me. Maybe.
One night after a double-date, we all went back to the other guy’s house where he lived with his rarely home parents. The other couple staked out a couch in a distant corner of the dimly lit finished basement, and somewhat reluctantly, I did the same with Joe (different couch, different corner, yo).
Like I said, Joe was not getting laid. But he was – ahem – getting other stuff. Lucky bugger.
In the middle of everything, I could have sworn he asked me to bite him…there. But no way, right? Why would a guy want, you know, PAIN.
And then he said it again.
Had this happened to me today, I’d have either laughed until I cried before apologizing for mocking his dark desires, or jumped in with an enthusiastic “sure! Why the hell not?”
But at the time, I was awkward-awkward-awkward. I definitely did not bite him. He backtracked and did whatever he thought would get me back into the moment that he had broken. There was pleading and some cajoling, but I got out of there pretty quickly.
With little experience to reference and no one I felt I could confide in, I was left thinking that Joe was the World’s Weirdest, Kinkiest Man.
Little did I know…
Has anyone asked you to do something unexpected? Do tell.
I love everything about this. The weirdest thing I’ve ever heard is the phrase “I want you to taste me” which makes me cringe to this day. Ugh. Shudder.
Cringing with you