Fifty Shades of Bon Iver? Not quite.

Someone with a great sense of humor has created a Tumblr called:

I hope Justin Vernon gets a great laugh from it.

Part of what makes me giggle is when Justin is referred to as “Bon Iver” like it’s a first name.

MTV posted its favorites (below) but in the nine days since, the Tumblr has grown.

Nothing has ever so accurately reflected our feelings about a musician! After the jump, check out our 10 favorite quips at Vernon’s touchy-feely expense.

1. Sometimes Bon Iver tenderly whispers, ‘Can I be the little spoon now?’

2. Today Bon Iver wrapped me in his flannel, which smelled like charred pine and licorice, and took me outside to show me a perfect spiderweb.

3. This morning, after our passionate and tender lovemaking, Bon Iver brought me fresh-brewed coffee in a mug he’d carved out of the branch of a tree that fell in the wind. I sipped it while he hummed and assembled his ice-fishing gear.

4. Bon Iver wouldn’t tell me what my surprise was, but when I awoke to the sound of Mendelssohn on an antique cello, I just knew.

5. Light flickers across his body. He’s trying not to fall asleep, because he still has stories to tell me. The handmade beeswax candles are burning low.

6. Bon Iver made me a dreamcatcher with feathers he collected on our nature walk. I dreamed about him – until he woke me up by gently biting my neck.

7. Bon Iver insisted on washing my hair, and afterwards he braided it, weaving in fresh lavender and pussy willow buds.

8. Last night we took a bottle of local wine to our goat field, spread out a blanket and made love under the stars. Bon Iver knows all the constellations and all the Native American myths.

9. Bon Iver heard me cough from the other room. I heard the door slam, and moments later he returned: with armfuls of lemongrass, humanely terminated free-range chickens and fresh greens, and he whipped up a soup to cure me. As he spooned it into my mouth, he kissed my throat and whispered, ‘That was a close one, baby.’

10. I’m at the farmer’s market with Bon Iver. We can’t decide which artisan cheese we like the most! We propped our bicycles against a bush and made love by the creek and then had raspberry pie.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.