Things I’d rather do than watch Kris Jenner’s show

It started with a tweet.

And then another.

Some friends tweeted back.

Others emailed. While some folks, including Tina Cervasio, applaud Kris’ moxie, others share my No-Kardashians-Ever position.

My buddy @nyc10021 suggested a root canal without novocaine over watching the momager’s show and the always-funny Ashley Spivey offered two that sound equally painful:

I’d rather pluck all of my nose hairs one by one, or masturbate with a porcupine.

Ouch and OUCH.

I got a list from @AestheticsGirl (and I totally regret not incorporating Pitbull into my list because UGH):

  1. I would rather have the Naked Cowboy grind up against me while serenading me on a 100 day in the middle of Times Square
  2. I would rather sleep on a bed of nails surrounding by hot coals while Bieber songs blared for a week.
  3. I would rather follow Pitbull on tour for a month.
  4. I would rather go see “50 Shades of Grey: The Musical” with an audience of grandmothers.
  5. I would rather drink a gallon of prune juice a day for a month.
  6. I would rather face plant into a cactus.
  7. I would rather watch Sarah Palin talk about lipstick on a pig…okay maybe that one is a lie.
Sara Lang also had a list
  1. I’d rather burn my eyebrows off while blowing out candles on my thirtieth birthday cake.
  2. I’d rather get trapped in an elevator with my talkative coworker.
  3. I’d rather walk to work in the DC summer.
  4. I’d rather go to the gynecologist.
  5. I’d rather go to the dentist.
  6. I’d rather wear a full body leopard print jumpsuit to prom.
And finally, from Mike Kelton, a list complete with visual aid.
  1. Eat the lint out of my belly button.
  2. Read in general.
  3. Go back to middle school.
  4. Watch C Span.
  5. Wear a condom. [I’ll have a talk with him about that, promise.]
  6. Sleep with a woman.
  7. Eat Kale.
  8. Listen to a Gilbert Godfrey Beyonce cover album on repeat.
  9. Get a cavity filled.
  10. Be sober on a Friday night.
  11. Do a radio show with a DJ with Gingivitis
  12. Wear this to work:
Blame Mike Kelton if you own this image

Blame Mike Kelton if you own this image

This post came together awfully easily. I could come up with another twenty without breaking a sweat.
What would you add?

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