Remember my awesome friend Candace? Previously she wrote about applying to graduate school (and I wrote about her visit to NYC here).

 

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So you’re having a baby!

Mazel tov on your growing family. I am so excited for you and can’t wait to tell that baby about all the horrific things you did in your youth (because I will).

Surely by now tons of people have told you how your life will change, mostly for the better. But did they tell you how your relationships with the people closest to you will change?

That stick you just peed on gave you a big ol plus sign and your priorities immediately shifted. Instead of using your fingers and toes to count the number of drinks you had last night (8 including that shot you definitely didn’t need), you’re wondering how many fingers and toes that person inside of you currently has.

Please know that most of your child-free (I hate the word ‘childless’) friends accept that things are different now. And that’s okay!

Let’s review:

We will talk less. This seems obvious, but let’s just put it out there. And when we do talk, we will talk a lot about your new baby. And if you’re like my awesome momma friends, you will still ask about my life and welcome non-baby talk.

When that little bébé comes into the world, we will flock to you to shower you and that new chubby bundle of joy with tons of love and affection. It will be hard, but try your damnedest not to apologize to your friends for your new life. It makes me feel horrible, like you think it needs to be a rager for me to have a good time. Did you think I expected a keg next to the crib? I knew what I was getting myself into.

And I’m absolutely thrilled to be there.

Chances of us traveling together anytime soon (well, unless I eventually have children) are small.

Remember those shifted priorities? Yeah, those. A weekend in AC probably ain’t happening. But it’s kinda awkward when you bring it up, even though we both know it’s a pipe dream. So try to only mention it if you REALLY want that Ladies Weekend — and if that’s the case, I’ll book my travel and hotel before you can say ‘poolside mimosas.’

The faster we accept these changes, the faster we can move into the new stage of our relationship, which will STILL be great, just a little different. And none of this is to say things won’t change in a few years – by the time that kid hits 5, you might be begging for a girls’ trip. But by then I might have a baby of my own and you may have to settle for sending me this blog post instead.

This is a dialogue, so baby-havers, tell me what you want us baby-free folks to know!

And baby-free folks, what did I miss?