My Monday nights are spoken for once again. Please don’t suggest we go to dinner for the next few nights. I like dinner, and I probably (maybe) like you. But the answer will be no.
The new Bachelor, Chris Soules, is a farmer from Iowa. He is looking for a wife to join him on the farm which, sadly, eliminated me from contention. Well, that plus my age (old) and present physical condition (semi-sloppy). But mostly it’s my city slicker-ness that kept me from auditioning for this season.
It has been well-established that I would have been more excited to see Marquel as Bachelor than Farmer Chris – if you’re reading this Chris, NO OFFENSE – but I’ll be watching just the same.
As always, I do my best to avoid reading spoilers and would appreciate it if you’d avoid posting them here. It’s not because I believe in love or anything. I just enjoy living life with blinders on.
Here are my questions going into this season:
- Have you read this amazing Chris Harrison profile by Taffy Brodesser-Akner?
- Is there a bigger age spread among the contestants than usual?
- Has Amber ever seen this show? Based on her shirt choice, all signs point to no. Kara‘s shirt is bad too but I feel like Chris might like her.
- Who goes home on the first night? My money is on Alissa and Bo and Carly and Juelia.
- Is Ashley S. actually 34 or are her hair and the photo just really, really bad?
- Do any cruise ships dock in Iowa? <no>
- What’s up with Mackenzie‘s boobs?
- Is Nikki related to Snooki?
- Will Reegan be The Crazy One?
- Can I have Samantha‘s pretty hot pink dress?
Will you be watching?
Related:
Contender power rankings
Des has a Bachelor bracket
OneChicklette 
I will most definitely be watching with a big glass of wine!
Yeah!
I don’t go for the spoilers, either, Jen. Blinders can be a beautiful thing.
My dear wife Karen and I slogged through the commercials to the bitter end of the rose ceremony. Did it seem to you that ABC merely added 15 minutes of Chris Harrison on a red carpet and in-studio to take the two-hour premiere to three hours and let the commercials do the rest?
So, what say you of Chris’ decision to keep the over-drinkers?
The first night always has surprises like that! Entirely possible that Chris wasn’t aware of the extent of her inebriation.
Yeah, but he went to consult Chris Harrison, so he was worried. I hope she straightens up because he liked her a lot at the start. If she’s a lush, not good for either of them to continue.