The return of The Bachelor

My Monday nights are spoken for once again. Please don’t suggest we go to dinner for the next few nights. I like dinner, and I probably (maybe) like you. But the answer will be no.

NO

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The new Bachelor, Chris Soules, is a farmer from Iowa. He is looking for a wife to join him on the farm which, sadly, eliminated me from contention. Well, that plus my age (old) and present physical condition (semi-sloppy). But mostly it’s my city slicker-ness that kept me from auditioning for this season.

Iowa is psyched

It has been well-established that I would have been more excited to see Marquel as Bachelor than Farmer Chris – if you’re reading this Chris, NO OFFENSE – but I’ll be watching just the same.

As always, I do my best to avoid reading spoilers and would appreciate it if you’d avoid posting them here. It’s not because I believe in love or anything. I just enjoy living life with blinders on.

Here are my questions going into this season:

  • Have you read this amazing Chris Harrison profile by Taffy Brodesser-Akner?
  • Is there a bigger age spread among the contestants than usual?
  • Has Amber ever seen this show? Based on her shirt choice, all signs point to no. Kara‘s shirt is bad too but I feel like Chris might like her.
  • Who goes home on the first night? My money is on Alissa and Bo and Carly and Juelia.
  • Is Ashley S. actually 34 or are her hair and the photo just really, really bad?
  • Do any cruise ships dock in Iowa? <no>
  • What’s up with Mackenzie‘s boobs?
  • Is Nikki related to Snooki?
  • Will Reegan be The Crazy One?
  • Can I have Samantha‘s pretty hot pink dress?

Will you be watching?

Related:

Contender power rankings

Bachelor Bingo

Prince Farming

Des has a Bachelor bracket

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5 thoughts on “The return of The Bachelor

  1. markbialczak

    I don’t go for the spoilers, either, Jen. Blinders can be a beautiful thing.

    My dear wife Karen and I slogged through the commercials to the bitter end of the rose ceremony. Did it seem to you that ABC merely added 15 minutes of Chris Harrison on a red carpet and in-studio to take the two-hour premiere to three hours and let the commercials do the rest?

    So, what say you of Chris’ decision to keep the over-drinkers?

    Reply
      1. markbialczak

        Yeah, but he went to consult Chris Harrison, so he was worried. I hope she straightens up because he liked her a lot at the start. If she’s a lush, not good for either of them to continue.

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