If you have been watching The Bachelor this season – which has been fantastic, by the way – you know Chris has a funny way with words. His blog for People Magazine only serves to supplement the broadcast show, and in writing.

A few choice tidbits:

I was proud to show her my land.

That pooch taught me some moves I didn’t even know existed.

I sucked, once again, but I thought it was something she’d enjoy.

I’m very intimate

When Whitney and her boss took me into the room “where the magic happens,” I really thought for a moment that she was going to have me prove that my soldiers could march.

 P.S. Jade’s resemblance to Jennifer Peros of US Weekly freaks me out.