My IQ has dropped by 20 points. Maybe 30.

If one of you made me a shirt that said “MY DAD DIED AND I AM A MESS” please know that I would wear it. Perhaps daily.

Such a shirt would save me from having to say those horrible-but-true words aloud, and let people know why my brain is really not working like it normally does.

Perhaps this shirt would work just as well.

I’m serious though. During my sweet Dad’s last days and now, I have been making crazy errors, like booking a flight for the wrong day (by two whole weeks!). And I need to read things, like, four times to get the point.

Is this normal? Will I ever bounce back?

I promise that someday my blog won’t be exclusively about grief and death and sad things. But right now these are pretty much the only thoughts in my head and I really need to share them with anyone willing to listen. Thank you for your patience.

11 thoughts on “My IQ has dropped by 20 points. Maybe 30.

  1. Deborah Ilene

    Blog on, lady. We’re here to listen, read, and commiserate. And yes, you will regain brain functioning at some point. This is normal – at least to me – and while things will never be the normal you were used to, there will be a new normal that’ll happen when it’s ready to happen. Just got to let your brain be a moron for a while. It’s protecting itselff

  2. markbialczak

    You are entirely normal for being a tad scattered these days, Jen. The clarity will return in due time, when you’re ready for a bit of focus. Until then, we’re here to listen to whatever it is you need to get out to us, my friend.

  3. hollie

    You’ll bounce back. For me, it got worse before it got better. There was a period of time where I thought I was dealing but really I was numb and once it hit me it was worse. There will still be rough days. It has been five years next week and while it does get easier, it isn’t a quick process.

  4. ThroughTheLookingGlassAndDownTheRabbitHole

    It’s really important to deal with the feelings as they come, and if blogging is right for you, you should keep doing that.

    It was years and years before I could even talk about it without bursting into tears, and even now I get sad. My way of handling it was pulling away because I couldn’t handle it. While it is always painful (for me even nearly 6 years on), it does get better. It sounds really cliche but time is a wonderful healer.

    Sending you love and positive vibes xxx

  5. joey

    Oh gosh, I can’t imagine. I suppose a disclaimer would be handy. If I could, I’d buy you seven shirts that explain your brain fog and broken heart, and I’d wash em for you, too.
    My experience with death and loss is that time goes very slowly at first.
    Keep writing and loving and eating x

  6. Pingback: A Mother and a Daughter | OneChicklette

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.