I worry that…

• I will forget to make myself undiscoverable on Tinder.
• Someone will hit me in the nose during a well-intentioned hug.
• I won’t get enough Old Forge-style pizza or naps.
• Mom will suggest seeing the movie, Carol. I do not want to see Carol with you, Mom.
• I will cry every day I am back home, missing Dad. He loved Thanksgiving.
• I will lose my mind telling family friends all of the reasons that they need to stop thinking that Trump is actually vote-worthy. I’d direct them to Sarah Silverman’s tweet but I don’t want to foist them on Twitter.

• Someone will ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend.
• No one will ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend because they assume I’m a lost cause.

Hopefully your Thanksgiving holiday is lighthearted and fun – at least compared to mine!