Summer of Suck 2.0 – Part Five: The Giant Jug

If you’re just tuning in, start here.

As news of my adrenal mass started to sink in, I realized it was time to start making plans. I drafted Mom to take care of me (obviously) for the period when I’ll be in the hospital for surgery and immediately after, and I thought about how to tell the people at work. Knowing that I will be out of commission post-op for four to six weeks, I made plans for some essential business travel.

So there I was in Los Angeles, one of my favorite places. It was a productive trip with lots of meetings and a little fun in the form of attending After Paradise again (thanks Millsy!). I met two charming ladies, Catherine Giudici Lowe and Katie Lowes of Scandal, and one handsome man, Samuel Lowe.


He’s so cute!

Samuel 20160823_191237 edit

But then I started getting sick. First sneezing, then a sore throat and stuffy nose. Full on misery by the time I flew home to NYC that Friday. For those of you keeping track, that’s four illnesses since last December.

Reminder: I do not need you to say this to me.

I got to Williamsburg late Friday night feeling like a bus had run me over. But when Saturday rolled around, I didn’t have the luxury of sleeping late. Instead, I had to make the trip to LabCorp in Chelsea to pick up necessary materials for my next pre-op test: a 24 hour urine collection.

My life is so glamorous that sometimes I just can’t stand it.

I had tried to make arrangements to get the supplies closer to home, such as LabCorp in Greenpoint, but naturally the convenient location doesn’t have what I need. Plus Greenpoint’s hours are shorter and their staff, in my experience, is notorious for closing the whole shop to take breaks for an hour or longer.

From LabCorp, I had another errand to run in SoHo. In spite of the heat and humidity, as well as being full-on sick, I decided that the mile-and-a-half walk might do me some good. Off I went to Bloomingdale’s carrying a brown paper shopping bag holding the bright orange jug and one of these.

Jug 20160901_204326

I had bought some things at Bloomingdale’s the prior weekend that were on pre-sale. The “pre” part meant that I had to pick it up once the sale actually started. Surely stores do this knowing people like me might buy something else on pick up day. Sure enough, that’s what happened because I left not just with this and this, but also the large version of this.

I figure if there has ever been a time for treating myself, it’s now. Right now.

When all of the shopping was over, I requested an Uber Pool (to save money, naturally) to carry my bags, jug, “cowboy hat” and me to Williamsburg.

I never, ever could have fathomed the impact one fateful stop on the way home could have.

To be continued

Don’t kill me for ending this post here, but the next part of my story is both long and kind of important. It will post this weekend so you won’t be hanging for long.

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