Category Archives: Snark

Dating While Old

Dating while old is pretty terrible. When it happens at all!

Recently I met a man on a flight back from LA* and it was notable enough that I tweeted about it.

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Meeting new people and having the interest be mutual doesn’t happen for me as much as it used to.

If you met me when I was in my twenties, I probably would have tried to tell you dating was terrible then too. Fresh out of college and living in NYC, I seemed to meet guys who were either too serious OR the precursor to this. I craved something in between the dude who just wanted to hook up and the man who planned overly formal dinner dates that felt like something real grown-ups (i.e., not me) did. Given my relative immaturity, I was weirdly more comfortable making out in the corner of dark bars than straining to make conversation over dinner at Provence.

In retrospect, I don’t know how I managed to cram so many crushes, love interests, boyfriends and friends with benefits into the six years I dwelled in NYC the first time. I must have been exhausted.

In my thirties, between a long relationship, career stress and living in DC, there was a dramatic drop-off in dating opportunities. Why didn’t anyone warn me this would happen?! I probably would have ignore anyone who tried, and I was too dumb to come to that conclusion on my own. So if you’re young and no one has warned you, let this serve as my personal PSA to you.

Now, I recognize that I’m not OLD-old. But I’m also not really young, either. The only people who say “you’re still young!” to me are over seventy and/or have serious vision issues.

And the reality of not being young anymore is that a lot of those fun, carefree things have largely evaporated. I have fewer crushes and opportunities to feel excited about love interests. And that’s a big bummer.

One thing about Dating While Old that’s good is that you’re able to spot warning signs early–and ideally you’re mature enough to act accordingly. One of my recent crushes – gainfully employed, handsome, fun in an up-for-anything kind of way – revealed himself to be a guy who habitually talks over other people and is a terrible listener. He’s also a Bernie Bro.

A truly welcome aspect of Dating While Old is the fact that I can look at a guy, realize he’s wrong for me in some important way and walk away with minimal angst. After all, my life is great with or without a date. Thank goodness for loyal girlfriends and satisfying careers and less money concerns.

 

BTW, if you are a Smug Married tempted to ask “but what about the apps? Don’t they produce many more dating opportunities?” please read this New York Times piece by Taffy Brodesser-Akner immediately. 🍆🍆

 

*As always, it’s complicated. I’ll update you if it’s worth telling the story.

 

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It’s time: #TheBachelorette premieres tomorrow

The 12th season of The Bachelorette, starring Joelle “JoJo” Fletcher, is upon us. I’m looking forward to the madness and comedy–particularly given that I think we dodged a bullet with this whole situation.

If you have any doubts about ABC‘s choice of Bachelorette, please look up the perceived runner-up’s Snapchat. Annoying-ness quotient: 2,124,756 on a scale of 1-10. Trust me.

 

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🎶🎶Guess who's back back back… Back again 🎶🎶

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The Bachelor returns

A new season of The Bachelor is about to begin so this is me right now:

Jessie Spano

Was Ben my favorite?

Via ABC/JustJared

Nah, seems boring. Emma and Claire agree (listen here).

Ben is handsome but in a Ken doll kind of way. If something distinguishes him from your average bro, I haven’t seen it yet.

But I’ll be watching of course. I always do.

Of course, I’m not here for the right reasons. Unless you consider snark to be the right reason.

 

 

Here, herehere and here are some other recommended reading for show prep.

 

My totally lousy Christmas (and not for the reasons I expected)

I had never thought to make a list of questions I don’t want to be asked in the presence of my mother. That is, not until my mother took me to a hometown ER for the first time in my adult life this past Saturday.

Upon my arrival in triage, the ER nurse spoke.

“What is your weight? Please step on the scale.”

ER

WEIGHED IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER? THANKS DUDE-NURSE.

I wobbled in that direction–partly from illness, mostly from dread. I had been sick for about three days, but unfortunately my appetite for Christmas cookies was unaffected. My weight, a number carefully hidden from Mom, would soon be revealed. Continue reading

The golden age of naps

I can’t help but feel that I was ahead of the curve. Long-time readers have seen my nap posts and my odes to sleep.

Photo via Splash News

Photo via Splash News

The rest of the world seems to be catching up because suddenly there are nap desks (which I want so, so badly), mobile nap pods and nap hoodies. Continue reading

It’s like Spotify is trying to get me fired

I listen to Spotify most days at work. The app messed with my work computer so I deleted it and now use my iPad or phone to listen instead.

But I may need to re-jigger that because…

Spotify And…

Spotify, are you trying to get me fired? Or maybe just talked about in whispers? Jeez.

Update (3/25/2015): this popped up on the Spotify app today.

Spotify