It happened on Mother’s Day.
“I’m going to see Fifty Shades!” Mom announced with great excitement while she, my father and I had lunch at Pellegrino’s.
“What…I mean…movie isn’t made…bad…blergh…” I stammered in response.
Dad might have thrown down his napkin in disgust at this point. He doesn’t know exactly what Fifty Shades entails; only that he’s disgusted.
Almost simultaneously, Dad and I both blurted “let’s talk about something else.”
I gave my attention to the antipasto.
When I got home, I googled. I realized that my mom and her friends are going to see “Fifty Shades the Musical” at the Scranton Cultural Center. Honestly, I forgot it existed.
Starting tomorrow night, I’ll be avoiding Mom’s calls for three days. At least.
I don’t want to talk about Fifty, Mom!
- My mom is reading Fifty Shades of Grey
- Bon Iver erotica
I think we all have someone in mind. A person we’d hook up with if presented with the opportunity…even if the person isn’t conventionally attractive.
They might even be kind of gross. Or insane. Want to know who I’d have Shame Sex with? Continue reading
When I discovered Mom owns a Shakeweight, I was upset enough to tweet about it.
Some of you might have missed out so here I am trying it out. I was pretending it was heavy but really I just felt awkward.
And here I am doing my best Magritte impression.
When I went to Scranton for Thanksgiving, I found that the Shakeweight was still there. Mom stores it in my bedroom. No idea.
- Mom is reading Fifty Shades of Grey
- It’s a family tradition
I hope you didn’t come here thinking I would answer the question because I have no idea.
Spotted at LaGuardia airport