Tag Archives: erotica

This is a book

I made my first trip to Book Expo this week. What did I see?

Erotica ALL OVER THE PLACE. I giggled.

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“Naked Came the Stranger”

While reading Time Magazine, I came across this obituary.

He wanted to prove a point about bad taste, and he did it very well. Though Newsday columnist Mike McGrady, who died May 13 at 78, won an Overseas Press Club award for his dispatches from Vietnam, he will always be remembered too as the orchestrator of the 1969 literary hoax Naked Came the Stranger. A cringe-inducing naughty-housewife novel “by Penelope Ashe,” it was actually the work of McGrady and his newsroom buddies. Meant as a parody of trashy best sellers, it quickly became one. “Some of the chapters were much too good,” a bemused McGrady told Time after the truth came out. “I had to work like hell to make them bad enough to use.”

Sound familiar?

The cover art is fabulous.

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Fifty Shades of Bon Iver? Not quite.

Someone with a great sense of humor has created a Tumblr called:

I hope Justin Vernon gets a great laugh from it.

Part of what makes me giggle is when Justin is referred to as “Bon Iver” like it’s a first name.

MTV posted its favorites (below) but in the nine days since, the Tumblr has grown.

Nothing has ever so accurately reflected our feelings about a musician! After the jump, check out our 10 favorite quips at Vernon’s touchy-feely expense.

1. Sometimes Bon Iver tenderly whispers, ‘Can I be the little spoon now?’

2. Today Bon Iver wrapped me in his flannel, which smelled like charred pine and licorice, and took me outside to show me a perfect spiderweb.

3. This morning, after our passionate and tender lovemaking, Bon Iver brought me fresh-brewed coffee in a mug he’d carved out of the branch of a tree that fell in the wind. I sipped it while he hummed and assembled his ice-fishing gear.

4. Bon Iver wouldn’t tell me what my surprise was, but when I awoke to the sound of Mendelssohn on an antique cello, I just knew.

5. Light flickers across his body. He’s trying not to fall asleep, because he still has stories to tell me. The handmade beeswax candles are burning low.

6. Bon Iver made me a dreamcatcher with feathers he collected on our nature walk. I dreamed about him – until he woke me up by gently biting my neck.

7. Bon Iver insisted on washing my hair, and afterwards he braided it, weaving in fresh lavender and pussy willow buds.

8. Last night we took a bottle of local wine to our goat field, spread out a blanket and made love under the stars. Bon Iver knows all the constellations and all the Native American myths.

9. Bon Iver heard me cough from the other room. I heard the door slam, and moments later he returned: with armfuls of lemongrass, humanely terminated free-range chickens and fresh greens, and he whipped up a soup to cure me. As he spooned it into my mouth, he kissed my throat and whispered, ‘That was a close one, baby.’

10. I’m at the farmer’s market with Bon Iver. We can’t decide which artisan cheese we like the most! We propped our bicycles against a bush and made love by the creek and then had raspberry pie.

Via @howaboutwe: “7 Things I Learned About Sex From Lesbian Vampire Erotica”

I’m laughing, but maybe you should take this How About We post seriously.

This tip is a good one, particularly for writers.

1. Don’t say “vagina.” Ever. 

Lesbian vampires don’t. They say things like “the pink folds of her sex,” instead. The safest thing to do is just find out what euphemism she likes and use that, or just avoid calling it anything all together.

If you have anything to add, I’d love it if you posted your two cents in the comments section.