Tag Archives: Fifty Shades

Mom is going to see Fifty Shades the Musical

It happened on Mother’s Day.

“I’m going to see Fifty Shades!” Mom announced with great excitement while she, my father and I had lunch at Pellegrino’s.

“What…I mean…movie isn’t made…bad…blergh…” I stammered in response.

Dad might have thrown down his napkin in disgust at this point. He doesn’t know exactly what Fifty Shades entails; only that he’s disgusted.

Almost simultaneously, Dad and I both blurted “let’s talk about something else.”

I gave my attention to the antipasto.

When I got home, I googled. I realized that my mom and her friends are going to see “Fifty Shades the Musical” at the Scranton Cultural Center. Honestly, I forgot it existed.

Via DailyMail

Starting tomorrow night, I’ll be avoiding Mom’s calls for three days. At least.

I don’t want to talk about Fifty, Mom!

Related posts:

  • My mom is reading Fifty Shades of Grey
  • Bon Iver erotica

“Naked Came the Stranger”

While reading Time Magazine, I came across this obituary.

He wanted to prove a point about bad taste, and he did it very well. Though Newsday columnist Mike McGrady, who died May 13 at 78, won an Overseas Press Club award for his dispatches from Vietnam, he will always be remembered too as the orchestrator of the 1969 literary hoax Naked Came the Stranger. A cringe-inducing naughty-housewife novel “by Penelope Ashe,” it was actually the work of McGrady and his newsroom buddies. Meant as a parody of trashy best sellers, it quickly became one. “Some of the chapters were much too good,” a bemused McGrady told Time after the truth came out. “I had to work like hell to make them bad enough to use.”

Sound familiar?

The cover art is fabulous.

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Fifty Shades of Bon Iver? Not quite.

Someone with a great sense of humor has created a Tumblr called:

I hope Justin Vernon gets a great laugh from it.

Part of what makes me giggle is when Justin is referred to as “Bon Iver” like it’s a first name.

MTV posted its favorites (below) but in the nine days since, the Tumblr has grown.

Nothing has ever so accurately reflected our feelings about a musician! After the jump, check out our 10 favorite quips at Vernon’s touchy-feely expense.

1. Sometimes Bon Iver tenderly whispers, ‘Can I be the little spoon now?’

2. Today Bon Iver wrapped me in his flannel, which smelled like charred pine and licorice, and took me outside to show me a perfect spiderweb.

3. This morning, after our passionate and tender lovemaking, Bon Iver brought me fresh-brewed coffee in a mug he’d carved out of the branch of a tree that fell in the wind. I sipped it while he hummed and assembled his ice-fishing gear.

4. Bon Iver wouldn’t tell me what my surprise was, but when I awoke to the sound of Mendelssohn on an antique cello, I just knew.

5. Light flickers across his body. He’s trying not to fall asleep, because he still has stories to tell me. The handmade beeswax candles are burning low.

6. Bon Iver made me a dreamcatcher with feathers he collected on our nature walk. I dreamed about him – until he woke me up by gently biting my neck.

7. Bon Iver insisted on washing my hair, and afterwards he braided it, weaving in fresh lavender and pussy willow buds.

8. Last night we took a bottle of local wine to our goat field, spread out a blanket and made love under the stars. Bon Iver knows all the constellations and all the Native American myths.

9. Bon Iver heard me cough from the other room. I heard the door slam, and moments later he returned: with armfuls of lemongrass, humanely terminated free-range chickens and fresh greens, and he whipped up a soup to cure me. As he spooned it into my mouth, he kissed my throat and whispered, ‘That was a close one, baby.’

10. I’m at the farmer’s market with Bon Iver. We can’t decide which artisan cheese we like the most! We propped our bicycles against a bush and made love by the creek and then had raspberry pie.

I went to Austin with @eimski and saw Bon Iver

I went to see Bon Iver tape Austin City Limits TV. It was everything I hoped it would be.

My company for the event was the wonderful @eimski. She and I met through Twitter and got acquainted when she visited NYC. Without Twitter I’m not sure what would have brought together a girl from Northern Ireland living in Houston with lil ol’ me. I’m so grateful.

E looks nice. Me? Not so much. That’s life.

We treated ourselves to a stay in a luxe hotel and lounged by the pool until it became too hot. Eimski and I are both fair-skinned so we didn’t last long.

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Fifty Shades of ubiquity

When I wrote the post “Fifty Shades of intense publicity” in March, I had no idea what lay ahead.

Fifty Shades in the airport

In the airport

The book is everywhere, prominently displayed in stores and covered by seemingly every major media outlet.

Et tu, 20/20?

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Spotted in Brooklyn

Inspired by Fifty Shades? Probably just Brooklyn.

In case you want to sign up for any of these workshops, Shagis located at Roebling and N. Sixth Street in Williamsburg.

Don’t worry: while some of these workshops have come and gone, more have been scheduled.

 

Fifty Shades of intense publicity

Have you read it? I have. Two parts of three anyway.

It’s wild that Fifty Shades of Grey, which has floated around Twilight Fan Fiction circles for years, is suddenly “news” being covered by the New York Times and lighting up Twitter among a new wave of readers. Some articles (like NYT) have neglected to mention the Twilight tie; others like Entertainment Weekly have gotten the details right.

I first became aware of fan fiction in 1995 in the wake of My So-Called Life’s cancelation after one perfect season. I was late to the MSCL party and was so sad to see the story just…end. Other people were too, apparently, as they chose to write their own endings. Even now, seventeen (!!) years later, people are still writing “FF,” as it’s known, for MSCL.

At the time, I was a senior in college and impressed with the creativity (if not always the writing abilities) of those writers who chose to find ways of keeping the characters they loved alive. But I was job hunting and about to New York City post-graduation so I never tried my hand at FF, and didn’t give it another thought until I became aware of Twilight FF thanks to Twitter.

After reading a few stories – some with good plots, most with little editing – I didn’t spend much time reading FF. I still don’t. But as Master of the Universe exploded onto the scene in the form of Fifty Shades, I found that I couldn’t resist joining the conversation.

Originally known as Master of the Universe or #MOTU and featuring Twilight characters Edward and Bella in an Alternate Universe (“AU”), this story was very popular: lengthy, risque and for some, addictive. For me? Not so much. I read a little and quit.

Fifty Shades wasn’t the first Twilight FF to crossover into the mainstream publishing world. Emancipation Proclamation by J.M. Darhower, which re-imagines Bella as a slave sold into the Cullen household, was recently published as Sempre.

Have you read Fifty Shades or Sempre? If not, are you thinking about it?

 

A warning: if you think the Twilight books are intolerable due to poor writing and insufficient editing, you will find Fifty Shades to be much, much worse. Repetitive in both theme and word choice. Unrealistic in so very many ways. Britishisms in a story set in the U.S. with American characters. Etc. Etc.

If you are a prude, or unable to get beyond the shackles (ahem) of what you consider to be normal, steer clear.

But if you want to get in on the conversation – and perhaps learn a trick or two to surprise a special friend – by all means proceed, and let me know what you think.