Tag Archives: gross

One of a thousand #MeToo posts I could write

This story is gross and upsetting and I have long been embarrassed about it. I could have sworn that I wrote a post about the incident, but searching “Chris” and “gross” didn’t produce any results.

Even now, many years later, I feel uncomfortable typing the words. But the story is timely and in sharing it, maybe I can help someone feel less alone while they consider their own #MeToo moments.


I was young and broke and living in NYC. My first job after college graduation paid just $25,000* and my rent was $950 per month. If I’d had any common sense at all at twenty-two years old, I would have realized that living alone wasn’t a viable option. But I was stubborn and wanted to feel independent, even as I accepted subsidies from my parents.

Recognizing that I was locked into a year-long lease, my mother didn’t give me too much grief when I called home crying poverty. But she did suggest I get a second job for some hours outside of my 9-5 gig.

*At some point, I will write many blog posts about the importance of negotiation and the many mistakes I made in this realm before waking up.

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My favorite James Corden segment (not Carpool Karaoke!)

I really like James Corden and his show. Let’s face it – most things are genuinely better with a British accent.

Corden’s Carpool Karaoke segments get a lot of love, but it’s this Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts video that cracked me up more. As a picky eater, I cringed too

 

I thought it would be a basic Truth or Dare-type bit where the dare is to eat something gross. However it’s so much better than that. The questions are beyond awkward to answer – for example, Niall Horan is asked “who is your least favorite member of One Direction?”

This iteration of the bit is even better because it’s two versus two–if your teammate declines to answer, you both eat the gross item.

I thought we could all use a laugh right now. Enjoy!

Hometown Tinder is a Don’t

When I went home to Scranton for Thanksgiving, I learned a hard lesson.

It was late at night and I was lying in the black lacquer bed (like this, but the headboard is round. Seriously.) I picked out when I was twelve or thirteen. I didn’t open Tinder looking for love. Nay, I figured that Tinderers of Scranton would provide fine fodder for Why Did You Put That on Tinder??

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There are few phrases I hate more than…

Push present.

If I ever found myself pregnant (and a dude were actually involved), I’d make it oh-so-clear from the point of conception that those words are never to be uttered around me or even about me.

Gifts to commemorate the momentous occasion are fine. I’ll take this. Just don’t ever, ever say push present.

P.S. I hope this cake was a joke.

No dogs allowed

When I was a kid, I desperately wanted a dog. My mother’s mother Nana lived with us though. Well, technically we lived with her but that’s another story.

Dad loved dogs, still does, and supported my interest in having one, but Nana either hated dogs or was afraid of them. Mom told me the latter.

“One day when Nana no longer lives with us, Daddy and I will get you a puppy.”

She didn’t wink or elbow me in the ribs while saying it, but the message was clear: when Nana died, I’d get my dog. Even though I was only five or six at the time, wanting a puppy became inextricably linked with a guilty feeling: “you want Nana to DIE!” I tried hard not to think about puppies. Continue reading