Tag Archives: Hometown Tinder

These are my Thanksgiving fears

I worry that…

  • I will forget to make myself undiscoverable on Tinder.
  • Someone will hit me in the nose during a well-intentioned hug.
  • I won’t get enough Old Forge-style pizza or naps.
  • Mom will suggest seeing the movie, Carol. I do not want to see Carol with you, Mom.
  • I will cry every day I am back home, missing Dad. He loved Thanksgiving.
  • I will lose my mind telling family friends all of the reasons that they need to stop thinking that Trump is actually vote-worthy. I’d direct them to Sarah Silverman’s tweet but I don’t want to foist them on Twitter.

Go Sarah

  • Someone will ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend.
  • No one will ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend because they assume I’m a lost cause.

Forever Alone

Hopefully your Thanksgiving holiday is lighthearted and fun – at least compared to mine!

Hometown Tinder is a Don’t

When I went home to Scranton for Thanksgiving, I learned a hard lesson.

It was late at night and I was lying in the black lacquer bed (like this, but the headboard is round. Seriously.) I picked out when I was twelve or thirteen. I didn’t open Tinder looking for love. Nay, I figured that Tinderers of Scranton would provide fine fodder for Why Did You Put That on Tinder??

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