Tag Archives: insurance

Summer of Suck 2.0: a sort of sequel

“So it was benign, right?”

“Well…it’s complicated”

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And so begins an awkward conversation with well-intentioned friends and colleagues. I know how to answer the question – sort of – but responding almost certainly requires me to veer into TMI territory. I am comfortable talking about what I have been through and what I face next. It helps me. But I am not a mind reader so I don’t always know how much people can handle or truly want to know.

If I have already told you too much, or if you were just being polite, I’m sorry…kind of. Not really.

I don’t know.

 

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Renting my brain to science

Candle
Paper
Sugar
Sandwich
Wagon

It’s the third time the neurologist has said the list aloud, asking me to repeat the words back to him. I get three words right the first two times and on the third, I remember four of the five.

‘Wagon’ eludes me. It isn’t on the tip of my tongue. I am not close to spitting out the word. I feel as if I am blindfolded in the woods, grasping in all directions for some sense of where I am. I couldn’t even guess what letter that fifth word starts with.

I can feel my brain contracting, pulsing and squeezing like a muscle as I try to jump through the cognitive hoops the medical and psychological professionals present to me.

On the forth round, I hit “sandwich” and then pause. It’s a long pause. I somehow find ‘wagon.’ None of the visualization techniques or mnemonics I would normally use to remember things are working.  Instead, I find wagon because I suddenly heard in my head the somewhat awkward way the doctor said the clunky word.

Wagon. Continue reading